Your body hears every word you say and so do other people. Push a button get an automatic reaction. You make a decision consciously preferred or unconsciously below awareness level. If your decisions are made unconsciously as in the case of long established bad habits, they will seem to be out of your control.
Intention always precedes action. Nobody did it but you. These are forms of power-less speech where the speaker victim avoids taking responsibility for the ramifications of their speech that ultimately leads to their actions. No-body can make you do anything. You make the decision yourself and then act on it. I tell clients that I am merely a guide on a journey to fitness, like a map and a compass. Negative body metaphor are the most obvious forms of powerless speech.
But instead of saying what you really mean, you may be into the habit of bringing your body into the expression. All these mindless expressions can lead to injury, accident, or illness.
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Habitual usage of negative body metaphors can lead to self-fulfilling prophecy and you may develop symptoms of what you are literally saying. Tell the little toddler that he makes you sick and he interprets that as his presence causes you physical illness. In reality you are disapproving of his behavior but he takes you literally.
And so does your body. But everyone has bad days, even me.
3. “Remember when you…”
Yesterday, I experience negativity toward me and reacted in a negative way myself. Feeling a little upset later in the day and watching some disturbing television be-fore bed, I fell into a deep sleep around midnight. After several hours I recall incidents from a dream I had in which I knew I was dreaming. I was in this unusual place where energy was streaming in from the skies and people were trapped there, being scared and persecuted by frightening monsters. I remember chanting very loud and deeply resonant, and as I did the monsters subsided and changed into friendly beings, helping not frightening the residents of this strange land.
I put on my Mind Muscle Machine glasses and headphones and continued to repeat my mantra as I did a half hour program with the machine. This dream was telling me something , a message to restore my faith in the fact that I can change things by what I say. So can you. Here are two possibilities:. Lydia, a client of mine, operates from both of these reasons.
Her husband, Jackson, often asks her for help with something. She always says yes because she experiences his request as a demand and is afraid of his reaction if she says no. But then a resistant, wounded part of her that was very controlled as a child takes over, and she ends up not doing what she said she would. She always has an excuse: "I forgot.
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Lydia ends up feeling badly about herself and Jackson feels as though he is unimportant to her. Their power struggle has gone on for many years and will not shift until one of them starts to take responsibility for themselves, rather than trying to control the other or resist being controlled. For me, doing what I say I will do is a matter of integrity.
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I wouldn't feel good about myself if I didn't keep my word. My word means something to me -- I do not take it lightly.
If your keeping your word doesn't mean much to you, why is that? I do not trust people who don't keep their word. If someone lets me down a number of times, then I know they are not reliable. I find that this limits my desire to spend time with them, which is sometimes sad, but I have learned to accept that I cannot trust them to follow through on what they say they are going to do. Friendships and deeply connected relationships thrive on trust.
Years ago I had a webmaster who consistently said he would get something done by a certain time and often didn't. Of course, he is no longer my webmaster. While my current webmaster, who I adore, doesn't always get things done right on time, I can feel that it is not due to resistance or a fear of being controlled. He is a man of honor and tries his best to do what he says he will do. His caring and sense of integrity make all the difference to me. I lose respect for people whose word doesn't mean anything to them.
I end up feeling manipulated when someone says they are going to do something and then doesn't do it. Of course, I give them leeway at the beginning. There may be a good reason they didn't do what they said they were going to do. But if it happens over and over, I accept that I can't rely on them and my respect for them goes down.
If you want to feel respected by others, then you need to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no, and not allow your fear of rejection or your fear of being controlled to get in the way of being a trustworthy person.
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We cannot feel worthy when we let ourselves down by letting others down. People who renege on their word do not value themselves enough to act with integrity. Is resistance to being controlled really more important than your self-worth? Are you kidding yourself that you can feel inwardly worthy when you don't keep your commitments?
Self-worth is the result of treating ourselves and others with caring and respect.
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Personal Power Personal power is the result of behaving in ways we value. He wanted to marry Anne Boleyn, the sister of his former mistress. I was so impressed by Moore, whose sense of principle was such that he chose to die rather than lose his integrity. He was a man of great personal power, greatly loved by his family and the people.
I recognized that it was his personal power that gave him the strength to die rather than compromise his integrity in order to live.